Realising that I have the power to reshape my own brain is one of the best and least expected effects of having Chronic Fatigue.
When I attended the three day ’90 Day Programme’ course in July, I remember being struck by the psychologist, Nikkie Wignall, talking about ‘motorways of the mind’. She told us that our habitual thought patterns – like fear, anger and anxiety – gain strength because those neural pathways are reinforced in the brain. It becomes second nature to worry or panic.
But it is possible to forge new, more positive paths in your mind. At first it’s a bit like hacking through a jungle. It’s hard-going and the path is narrow but over time, if you keep using that path, it gets bigger and wider. Meanwhile the motorway starts shrinking because you’re not using it as much.
There are three main psychological tools in the OHC treatment plan – meditation, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and the Stop Technique. I admit that when I was sitting, listening to Nikkie demonstrate them I was incredibly sceptical.
I’d already been meditating for more than a year – it had helped calm me down a bit but I’d still come down with CFS. The EFT I thought was complete mumbo-jumbo. And the first demonstration of the Stop Technique saw me have a full-on panic attack in front of a room full of strangers! Not a great start. Nine months on and I’m a total convert and all three are part of my daily routine.
So I was fascinated to pick up a copy of ‘Buddha’s Brain – the practical neuroscience of happiness, love and wisdom’ by Rick Hanson and Richard Mendius. In effect it combines all the latest neuroscience with thousands of years of Buddhist wisdom to explain how your brain works and why and how you can make changes to improve your life.
As I wrote in my previous post, everyone’s CFS/ME is completely different. That said, I really think nearly everyone (whether they have CFS or just busy lives) could benefit from these three practices.
Meditation (and Yoga)
I started off by doing the best-selling 8 week audio-book course Mindfulness: A Practical Guide To Finding Peace in a Frantic World. I then discovered the Buddhify app via a recommendation in Wired magazine. This is a brilliant series of short meditations for just about any situation. I also subscribe to the Headspace app which gives you courses of 10-30 meditations (10-20 minutes each) on themes like Health and Relationships.
The godfather of mindfulness is Jon Kabat-Zinn. I loved his book ‘Coming to our Senses, Healing the World and Ourselves Through Mindfulness’ and I have his Guided Mindfulness Mediation Series 2 and 3 on my iPhone.
But I didn’t really understand how to meditate until I went along to a drop-in at the Manchester Buddhist Centre where they run lunchtime drop-ins on weekdays. Using a mediation mat, cushions and blanket quite literally takes the weight off your shoulders and stops your knees and back seizing up. It also gave me a greater insight into the philosophy behind meditation which I’ve found immensely helpful. I recently also went to the Jamyang Buddhist Centre in London which is an equally calm and inspiring building filled with friendly people.
I’m also lucky enough to have weekly meditation classes at our local Blythe House Hospice, five minutes round the corner from our house, run by the experienced counsellor David Oldham.
If you lean more towards the scientific rather than spiritual side of life, then the HeartMath Inner-Balance app and sensor might be for you. It was recommended by Dr Will Mangar from Indurance and it’s used by Navy Seals. It measures Heart Rate Variability and, like meditation, helps calm your parasympathetic nervous system by regulating your breathing but also promotes positivity by getting you to focus on happy thoughts. My husband’s a sporty atheist so this suits him better and he uses it when he’s cooling down after a workout. It’s not cheap (£128) but it’s money well-spent.
Dr Mangar also recommended binaural beats. I use the iBrainWave app. You need headphones as you get a different beat pattern in each ear which tricks your brain into relaxation. I like the river background soundtrack that you can overlay and often use it to help get me off to sleep. It’s also great for migraines, though for me it only stops the pain as long as I keep the headphones on! I confess, the science baffles me (even thought I’m a radio producer) but it works and the app’s free.
I’ll also give yoga a mention here. Though it’s generally thought of as a physical exercise, the philosophy of yoga, as I’m learning, is actually primarily focussed on the mind state – the postures are simply the method by which you achieve that meditative mind. I’ve gone from hating yoga to being a complete convert with Iyengar yoga being my personal favourite.
Recently I’ve discovered the left field world of Feldenkrais – I’ve only done three sessions so far but it seems that by concentrating on the tiniest movements you can have a profound impact on the mind-body relationship. There are regular classes and workshops at the Manchester Buddhist Centre.
I try and meditate from 10 minutes up to an hour every day and do two yoga classes a week plus three short 10 to 15 minute sessions at home.
Emotional Freedom Technique
I thought this was frankly bonkers when Nikkie first demonstrated it at the OHC in London in July. It’s an emotional version of acupuncture without the needles.
Basically you start off by tapping with two fingers on the side of your hand (the Karate Chop) repeating three times what’s worrying you. This was my script when I first started learning how to do it…
“Even though I am…
- really SCARED I will lose clients and work
- feeing GUILTY that I am letting people down
- WORRIED that on some days I look and feel fine
- DOUBTFUL that this treatment will work
- AFRAID I won’t get better
- FRUSTRATED I can’t do what I want
- SAD my life is so compromised
- feeling LONELY and isolated by this illness
- ANGRY this is happening again
I still deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
Then you tap with two fingers on eight acupuncture pressure points (eyebrow by nose, side of eyebrow, under the eye, under the nose/above the lip, under the lip/above the chin, collarbones, bra strap line on your side and on your head whilst articulating out loud a shortened version whatever is bothering you. (e.g. scared, guilty, worried, doubtful, afraid, frustrated, sad, lonely, angry).
Repeat until you start feeling better, then you can bring in a more positive version. For example,
“Ok, maybe it isn’t quite so bad now…
- Perhaps I can CHANGE
- Maybe I will RECOVER
- It feels like I’m at the BOTTOM OF A BIG MOUNTAIN right now
- but at least I am STARTING OUT ON MY JOURNEY TO RECOVERY
- and I’m giving myself TIME and SPACE to do it
- I’m creating a HEALTHY PATTERN to help myself recover
- and I have SUPPORT in place physically, professionally and emotionally
- I DESERVE to make this investment in my future self
I know that I am doing ok.”
Ideally you should score yourself out of ten before and after each round but I’ve found that it doesn’t make a huge amount of difference while I’m doing it but then 15-30 minutes later I’ll feel a lot calmer and happier.
There are loads of variations and lots of books and videos out there and it’s really quick and simple to learn. There are EFT practitioners who can guide you through it which might be worth doing. Nikkie taught me how to do it.
This is a video by the founder of EFT, Gary Craig…
It’s also supposed to be brilliant for fibromyalgia. I find it can help with migraines though to be honest my personal migraine saviour has been Sumatriptan tablets or, failing that, three aspirins and a cup of tea.
The STOP Technique
Equally off-the-wall sounding is the STOP technique. I’ve struggled to find anything online which exactly replicated what we were taught at the OHC. It stands for Stop!, Take A Few Deep Breaths, Observe Your Thoughts, Proceed.
I’ll try and explain what I do. Whilst I prefer doing EFT on my own, I find it really helpful to get my husband to help me with stop. He says:
HIM: What’s the problem? (Actually he says ‘What’s D’a Big Oi’dea?’ in a faux Irish accent which is apparently a parody of Alan Partridge. This is very much his own take on Stop but it also makes me laugh which can only be a good thing, unless you’re Irish and take offence).
ME: I stand at the 12 o’clock point on an imaginary clock on the floor and press my thumb and little fingers together and say whatever is on my mind. e.g. “I’m having a Monday morning panic attack and can’t face opening my emails.”
HIM: Stop! Take a few deep breaths. Imagine your pushing the button on a remote control and feel yourself grounding through breath and body. (This bit also makes us laugh because I can’t work the remote control and he always gets the wording wrong).
ME: I move to 6 o’clock. I press my fourth finger and thumb together on one hand and with the other press an imaginary remote control and take 3 deep breaths.
HIM: What are your choices?
ME: I move to 7 o’clock and press my thumbs to my middle fingers and say ‘I can either keep panicking and drain my energy and make myself feel even worse’ or ‘I can sit down and try and open my first email and work for 10 minutes and then I’ll probably realise it’s not as bad as I thought and everything will be fine.’
HIM: Well done you!
Me: I move to 8 o’clock and press my thumbs to my index fingers and say ‘Well done me’.
This all sounds nuts but it really works. If something is really overwhelming we’ll pause and discuss it and then start from the top again. I’ve now got him to record his voice so I can use it when I’m on my own.
When I was feeling really bad I’d be doing stop up to five to six times a day and EFT three or four times a day. Now I tend to do one or the other once or twice a day. I see mediation and yoga as my calm foundations and the Stop and EFT are for the times when I still get overwhelmed or those feelings of fear and anxiety creep back in.
I find that I tend to use EFT for more emotional feelings like general fear and anxiety and I use Stop for more practical issues which tend to be work-related.
iamnotme 